


Clickbait

by Parasite



Category: Incredibles (Pixar Movies), The Incredibles
Genre: F/F, Fake Dating, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Tropes, VidCon, Youtuber AU, bob is shane dawson, evelyn gets high, helen is a single mom, mirage is makeup artist, she starts drama, she wears gucci, streaming video games, twitter 24/7, with a mommy vlogger
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-06-21 19:37:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15564969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Parasite/pseuds/Parasite
Summary: Evelyn's channel is a mess of gaming, news, reactions and some hacking. She knows that most of her audience is pre-teen boys who like her because she smokes weed.So, If an angry mom sends her an email, why wouldn't she make a video about it?Except that the Mom is a Youtuber as well.A hot one.Fuck.





	1. Top 10 Ways You Can Make Your Picky Eater Try New Things!

Chapter 1. Top 10 Ways You Can Make Your Picky Eater Try New Things!

Evelyn looked at the camera and grinned.

“Sup, assholes! Evelyn Deavor here, and I got a story for you. So I got this email in my inbox yesterday. From this Mommy blogger or some shit. Saying her ten-year-old son is watching my videos, and she is upset that I say fuck every other word.” The red light of her camera kept blinking back at her. “I am gonna read it to you guys, 'cause I wanna see your thoughts. “

Evelyn fake clears her throat and starts speaking in a nasal voice.

“Dear Miss Deavor,

My ten-year-old son has been watching your gaming videos non-stop. He also watches your silly hacking videos on those poor phone salesman.” Evelyn rolled her eyes and spoke in her normal voice.

“Uh, Listen here lady, Maybe you should watch what your kid is watching? Also, the people I am ‘hacking’ are phone scammers. Who fucking cares? I am helping old ladies by not letting them get scammed! Basically, maybe ya should watch ya kids? Crazy right? Guys, do you want the real shit though? This mom has a channel. A channel surrounding her kids. She makes life hacks for kids. Like, I fucking can’t believe it.” Evelyn holds up a finger to the camera and reached down to the ground to grab her can of beer. Evelyn took a sip and gave the camera a perfect Jim Halpert look.

“Well, I’ll keep reading. Ahem. You shouldn’t be promoting drug use and alcoholism. This woman writes.” Evelyn was holding in her laughter. “Ya heard it here, folks! I promote alcoholism. Guys, I am so sorry for what I have caused upon you. I live in Colorado. I ain’t promoting nothing.”

Evelyn took another sip of her beer.

“I think I am gonna watch one of her videos. Yeah! Let’s make a shitty reaction and put a clickbait title. Everlint EXPOSED by Mommy Vlogger, SuperMama. I really hope I don’t get demonetized for this, my god.”

Evelyn clicked off her camera. She’ll finish this tomorrow.

~~`~~

_Two Weeks later_

 

Evelyn knew she should be sleeping, but fuck it. Not only has she released the Mommy blogger video two hours ago, but she also secured a deal with her favorite recreational weed provider. Only downside? She has to do the promo on Instagram. Youtube is already cracking down on her and her un-savory video topics. Her phone vibrated and the screen showed a notification from Winston.

3:45 A.M  
Win: People are mad you started drama with that mom youtuber. She made a video, and a bunch of other people did. Buddy pine did, and a bunch of other news people did

Evelyn rolled her eyes. Buddy Pine AKA Syndrome was the most entitled white boy she has ever seen.

3:46 A.M.  
Win: Mirage tweeted about it too,

Evelyn had to roll her eyes, again. Mirage though she was some shit, to say in the least. A poster girl for what Youtube wanted. Okay, Evelyn might be a little peeved about their breakup, but Mirage should stay in her own lane and Evelyn would stay in hers. Evelyn was known for being high and drunk, Mirage did makeup. And wore Gucci.

Evelyn pulled up Twitter and checker what she said.

@mirage_co  
Evelyn “Everlint” Deavor needs to learn that being a mom is a true job. <3

Mirage once told Evelyn that kids were snot-dripping devils who should be kept away from adults. 

Evelyn internally scoffed. She never said that being a mom isn't hard. The mom wrote an email to her, and she thought it would a fucking funny video. Evelyn searched for the video the mom made and pulled it up. The mom didn't show her face in the video Evelyn reacted to earlier. The intro had three kids show up one after another. A tween girl, a boy who looked to be around nine or ten, and a baby. Then it faded into black and the mom appeared. This was the first time she actually would see the mom behind the email.

The mom was hot.

She had red hair and a really pretty face. Her accent has a slight southern accent and Evelyn was just in awe.

“So, another content creator has made a video a video about me. If you are one of Everlint’s fans, Hi, my name is Helen. I sent her that email privately. It was about her videos, and how they affect my son. It was not supposed to be public.”

Before the video could go farther, Evelyn pressed the home button on her phone and checked the time.

3:55.

She needed to some fucking sleep. She had to edit tomorrow. 

_She woke up to more bullshit._

Fucking Buzzfeed wrote an article about it. Gamma Jack did a Drama Alert episode on it.

Was it that big of a fucking deal?

So, Evelyn went to twitter.

@Everlint_DEaVOr  
My video was not an attack. It was a comedy video. NO MALICE INTENDED. Stop the fucking drama. God damn. Not that hard kids.

Evelyn put her phone down on her nightstand and went to go pee. She was gonna stream today, but Fortnite may not be the most go-to thing right now. She could hear meowing from the other side of the bathroom door. Cheeto, her tabby cat with only one eye, barged into the bathroom.

“Guess who started more youtube drama? That’s right, I did!” Evelyn said in her baby voice. The cat meowed back and ran straight into the door.

“Fucking idiot,” Evelyn said under her breath.

After brushing her teeth, and taking a shower, Evelyn sat down at her laptop and pulled up her page. Mr. Inedible uploaded another Taco Bell video with his boyfriend, and Voyd, BuzzFeed's new poster girl has a video about drinking at Disney. Buzzfeed was truly running out of people, everyone else left to make their own companies. Her eyes traveled to her recommended, and there was a Mirage video. Looks like another makeup company didn’t make enough shades for people of color. Figures. Below that video though, was a pie tutorial.

By the Mommy Vlogger.

Her mouse pointer hovered over the video, and she clicked.

“Hey Guys, Helen here! Recently my daughter has been utterly obsessed with baking, and together we made this cherry cinnamon pie recipe! Stay tuned and I’ll show you how.”

At the very end of the video, Helen sprayed some whip cream into her mouth. She wiped the access off of her lip and grinned.

Evelyn was shooketh.

She clicked off the tab and went to the freezer. Grabbing some ice cream and whip cream. And then she put the whipped cream back.

Eyeing the blunt near her desk, she grabbed her lighter. Evelyn knew she had to stream, and doing shit daily was fucking annoying. But at least she can be high while doing it. Grabbing her phone she sent out a twitter poll.

@Everlint_DEaVOr  
On Twitch, Should I build my new PC or play some shitty Fortnite?

This is gonna be a fun day.


	2. Eating the ENTIRE McDonald's Menu with my Boyfriend!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gay + depression + bad coping habits + video games/computers= evelyn

Chapter 2 Eating the Entire McDonald’s Menu

“Hey, motherfuckers! Evelyn here, and in this video I will be answering your twitter questions while I get the word pussy tattooed on my ribs.”

“And I know you're wondering, why Everlint? Why this word? The answer: I like cats. I like to call people pussys. Simple.”

A voice behind the camera says, “Isn’t it because you're a lesbian?”

Evelyn glared at him. “Not every woman has a vagina, asshole.” She glared at the other person near Winston. She rolled her eyes at the random dude at the tattoo parlor.

“First question! @jpdraws asks, How does one obtain such big dick energy? Maybe I was born with it, maybe it was Maybelline.” Evelyn says, gripping the phone in her hand tighter as the tattoo artist prepped her skin for the tattoo. The cold swipe of the alcohol soaked cotton pad made her feel nervous.

Winston put his face in his hands.

“@69pies asks, Why did you start drama with a Mommy Vlogger? I didn’t. Oh, fuck.” Evelyn winced as she felt the tattoo start. “No drama at all guys! Christian Minecraft server and all of that!”

“Winston read me one more.” She said, throwing her phone at him.

“Okay...Evie, this one is from @atradectus. They ask, "Evelyn p-please are you single asking for a friend."

Evelyn put her middle finger up and winked. "I mean, slide into my DMs all you want, boo."

“The next one says, “Did you see how thicc that Mommy vlogger was? Evie, they spelled thick wrong. It’s from @dannydeleto. Evelyn, who are these people?” Winston eyed his younger sister.

“Oh my god, just read multiple in a row.”

“Fine, Evelyn. @rawmeevelyn69 says, raw me. @mr.clean says He is your BIGGEST FAN. @para asks, How do feel about @Mirage_Co doing asmr?”

Evelyn jolted, and she bit her lip.

“Um, well. It’s okay. I don’t personally like it or watch it. Her food video, something-bang, was interesting. To say in the least.”

~~`~~  
Evelyn was getting tired. She loved making content, she loved gaming, she loved ratting scammers computers.

But the making daily videos were taxing. Her online personality was taxing. Editing made her stay up to 2 A.M and insomnia made it worse. The streaming shitty games that she didn’t even want to play, it was just all so much.

But, could she really complain? She can afford to wear Gucci slides. She can sell fucking t-shirts with her stupid sayings them. Yet, her relationship with Mirage was public. And that meant the breakup was a catastrophe. Not because of Mirage, but because of their fans. They made everything worse.

Speaking of everything taxing her, it was 4 A.M and she uploaded that tattoo video not too long ago. Her insomnia was still keeping her up. Plus, she was having entire body fatigue and had this loss of appetite that made her ribs stick out slightly. Oh, and she couldn’t forget the drinking herself into a stupor just to pass out tired. Evelyn also couldn’t forget that Vidcon was in thirteen days.

Maybe her brother was right, she was depressed. Evelyn picked up her abandoned whiskey glass and threw it at the wall. The dark liquid dripped down the cream walls, and the broken glass disappeared into the plush carpet.

Looking down at her phone, she called up some food from UberEats. Evelyn tried not to think about anything, as she ate some Arby’s and watched the sunrise.

After finishing her roast beef, she opened her laptop and went to, you guessed it, Youtube. Evelyn briefly glanced at the analytics but decided not to fully check. She didn’t want Youtube analytical problems making her own problems worse. Searching up the channel she wanted, she clicked the private message tab. Her fingers hovered over the keys, and she started to type.

‘Hello, It is Evelyn Deavor the creator of Everlint. I wanted to apologize for the video I made of you. If you want to contact it me about removing it or doing some other action, my email is edeavor29@gmail. My phone number is +1-202-555-0169. Please text and no call.’

A couple of minutes pass, and Evelyn was starting to slowly doubt what she did was a good idea. Her phone dinged and she looked at the notification.

4:20 A.M  
Unknown Number: Maybe you aren’t that bad of an influence on my son, most people on the internet are too prideful to say sorry. Like some sort of child.

Evelyn blushed. People on the internet think that just because someone can’t see their face, nothing bad would happen.

4:23 A.M  
Unknown Number  
Don’t take now the video, it doesn’t really matter. It is six in the morning where I am, aren’t you always hungover?

4:25 A.M  
1-202-555-0169: 4 here in Colorado. I may be a tad hungover but who cares

4:27 A.M  
Unknown Number: Drink some coffee? Or Eat? Fix your grammar?

Evelyn laughed.

4:29 A.M  
1-202-555-0169: Okay, mommmmmmm.

A while passed and Evelyn thought the conversation ended.

5:30 A.M  
Unknown Number: No. Don't. PLEASE, I get enough of that already.

Evelyn didn’t know how to keep the conversation going. Winston would probably tell her this is a great thing, apologizing to a random person off of the internet. Evelyn groaned. She really needed friends or something. The sound of her front door opening, made Evelyn grab her pool noodle next to her bed.

Why does she have it? She doesn't know. Evelyn tiptoed down the stairs and smacked her brother behind his head with it.

“Evie!” He said, almost a bit too excited.

“What's wrong?.” She deadpanned. His face drooped.

“How do you always know when is wrong! Don't answer that. And nothing is even wrong, the only thing is Isabelle is retiring and I just thought maybe you would-”

“No. I told you no five years ago and it is the same answer.”

Cheeto was circling them, and he rammed his head into Winston's leg.

Idiot cat.

“Evelyn, this lifestyle is not good for you! You shut yourself in your house and-"

“You don't have to tell me all my problems, I already know them.”

Winston walked over to the kitchen counter and dropped a bag off on it.

“I got waffles. Eat please?”

Evelyn grumbled, but she went and grabbed a white foam box. Cheeto trailed behind her and sat on her lap as she kicked up her reclining chair.

“See, I am not a recluse! I have Cheeto.” Evelyn said after she gave Cheeto a piece of her waffle.

“Cheeto can't tell you to stop drinking, or to go outside,” Winston said. “He can’t tell you that the jokes you make go too far.”

He reached over and ran his hand through the cat's orange fur. Evelyn sighed. Her brother worried too much, about her, the company, everything basically.

“Did anything happen with that Mom Youtuber?”

Evelyn kept chewing her waffle and then threw a napkin at him.

“I dmed her and apologized. I was texting her earlier.”

Winston mussed up her hair, and said, “Wanna play some Mario Kart?”

Evelyn chuckled.

“I thought we were too old for that?”

~~`~~ BONUS THINGY

_6 P.M. Georgia. The Truax Home._

“Dash! Violet! Dinner is ready!”

Helen kept stirring the pasta, and she glanced back.

Her kids weren’t there.

“VIOLET, DASH!”

Helen heard a door slam, and someone running down the staircase.

“Violet, where is your brother?”

Her daughter rolled her eyes. “Whaddya think? He’s playing one of his stupid video games.” Violet practically yanked the bowl out of her hands and went to go put some tomato sauce on top.

“Attitude, young lady.” Helen walked up to her son’s bedroom and knocked on the door.

“Mom! I am playing! I’ll eat later.”

Helen turned right around, she should be glad her son isn’t using the internet for worse things. Yeah. Be glad he is not doing those things.

She might make a video about this. Maybe contact Everlint, after all, she plays Fortnite.

Maybe.

To 1-202-555-0169: How does one convince their son to stop Playing Fortnite?

6:04  
1-202-555-0169: Tell him Everlint thinks its a shitty game because it is one, Overwatch is better. CSGO is better.

Helen did not understand a word if that. She still smiled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the entire story is always gonna be evelyns point of view, but since she hasn't interacted much with helen, I threw that bit in for extra.
> 
> Also, all the chapter names are the videos of youtubers, not just Helen or Evelyn. try and guess whose video is it!


	3. READING MY BOYFRIEND’S DM’S IN ASMR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gay

Chapter 3.

Airplanes didn’t make her nervous. She sat in First Class, comfortable and calm. She ignored everyone else. Winston, on the other hand, hated them. He was gripping his seat and shaking his head.

“Chill Win. Want another mimosa? I can get ya another mimosa.” Evelyn said as she kicked her feet up. First Class was niceee.

“Why do I even have to come? You are the youtuber, I just, why?”

Evelyn tipped her drink towards him.

“Everyone brings someone. Either it is a boyfriend or someone, but everyone has that extra person who guest-stars on their channel. And since I can't exactly bring Cheeto, you will have to be in place of him.” Winston gave her a look. “What? You are in lots of my videos. People love ya!”

Winston put his headphones on.

“Okay, they love you being weird.”

Winston's eyebrows shot up, and he glanced over to her. He then mumbled, “That’s rich coming from someone who is twenty-nine and spends her free time texting a mom who lives in Georgia.”

Evelyn blushed. Ever since Helen Truax, that was her name, texted her about Fortnite, they texted non-stop. They watched each other's videos. They were the most unlikely _friends._ Just friends. Juuuuussst Friends. But, their conversations have been uplifting Evelyn, and she would go as far and say her videos have improved. (She also may have learned a few things from Helen’s videos. Like how to cook.)

“Does your friend know you sprained your wrist?” Winston said as he was rifling through the free goodie bag they got.

“Shut up, I am gonna start vlogging.” Evelyn tried to shut her brother up. Okay, so she may or may not sprained her wrist while riding her motorized skateboard.

Her sprained wrist will not hinder her experience at VidCon though. One, her brother has a separate hotel room, two, she has some drugs to make the meet and greets easier, three, her and Helen would meet up for coffee or some shit.

Reaching down for her camera, Evelyn took an up-close shot of Winston ‘sleeping’ with his custom-made sleep mask. She zoomed into his face and then turned the camera up so it was focusing on the grey strands in his hair. She then flipped her camera towards her face and grinned.

“I’m like totally copying Mister Lucius Best. Should I do some scenic time lapse or an airplane seat review? I sound really fu-freaking conceited.”

A woman across from them glared. Evelyn rolled her eyes. The lady had two babies with her. Who brings two fucking babies in First Class? A cunt does. An asshole does.

~~`~~

Evelyn finally lugged that last piece of luggage into her room. Winston was right next door, (they even has connecting doors! Winston was excited about that.) She laid out on the small sofa and went to grab the remote. Nothing was actually on, so she booted up her camera.

“So, Me and Winston checked into our hotel room. It’s about 8’ o'clock at night. In about two days is VidCon. I am gonna be collabing with some I think y’all will be excited for.”

Helen and her planned it so that they would stay at the same hotel. Winston wanted to stay in a better hotel, not that this one was bad, but just not the Deavor’s standard. Evelyn didn’t feel the need to ‘flex’. That word made her cringe.

Okay, she was rich? So, what? She didn’t use the fucking money. And if they went to the hotel Winston suggested, Helen wouldn’t been able to do this collab with Evelyn.

This collab is gonna be a shitshow. On brand for Evelyn, not so much for Helen.

Evelyn turned the camera to show the connecting door.

“So, I’m planning to prank him tonight. Walk into his room, scare him shitless, walk out. Y’know the usual.” The phone ringing made her pause. She picked up and kept the camera on. Why not?

“Ma’am, we are currently overbooked and-”

“Oh, uh, I can stay with my brother? I can do that.”

“No, Ma’am,” The receptionist continued. “We have someone down here saying they know you? Helen Truax?”

Evelyn felt excitement jolt through her. Which was weird.

“Uh, yeah. I do. Send her up.” The clicking of the phone made Evelyn realize something. There was only one bed. And the shitty couch. Okay, the couch wasn’t shitty but like one of those modern ones that weren't comfortable at all, and Evelyn couldn’t even try and sleep on it. She’s like 5’4 and the couch was pretty small for her.

Evelyn practically tripped over herself. “So, it turns out the person I am collabing with is already here. The hotel overbooked and now they are staying here. In my hotel room.” Evelyn positioned the tripod so it would get a clear shot of when Helen walked into the hotel room.

When she heard a couple knocks, Evelyn opened the door. Helen was there, one suitcase and she looked dead tired.

She was sooooooooooooo pretty.

“Uh, Hi.” Evelyn internally was dying. She stepped aside so Helen could come in.

“Are you filming this?” Helen asked, and her voice was...wow.

“Uh, yeah. Vlogging y’know.” Evelyn ran her hands through her hair. Helen reached out and grabbed her wrist.

“What happened?” Concern was laced in her tone, and she had a worried expression. Evelyn just felt her whole body blush.

“Just a stupid skateboarding accident.” Evelyn dipped away from Helen and grabbed her camera. “Say Hi!”

Helen put her hands up in face. “I just got off a plane, Deavor. Chill.”

Evelyn laughed and switched the camera off. Evelyn grabbed Helen’s suitcase. There was of those things where you laid your suitcase on it, with the suspended elastic? Evelyn forgot what they were called.

“So, uh, Helen we may have a tiny problem. There is only one bed, and like I could sleep on the couch but-”

Helen gave her a weird look. “How big is the bed? We can share it.” Evelyn hissed through her teeth.

“I think it’s a queen? It’s big.” Evelyn laments. Helen beamed. She went over to her luggage and grabbed her laptop and camera.

“Why don’t we start on our collab?”

~~`~~

After Helen finished packing up her filming equipment, she went into the bathroom to change into actual pajamas. Evelyn just wears a giant t-shirt to bed. She sat down on the edge of the bed, unsure where Helen would want to sleep. This whole situation was just wild. The only interaction she ever has had with this woman was over text messages. And now they were sleeping in the same bed. Helen came out in flannel, yes flannel and smiled at Evelyn. She patted Evelyn’s shoulder and went to the left side of the bed.

“We have a free day tomorrow, do you want to go out to eat somewhere? Maybe not fast food, all the fast food places have Pepsi.”

Evelyn scrunched her face.

“What? Is there something wrong with Pepsi?”

Helen gasped. “I can't tell you this all now. It's far too late, and I can actually sleep in here. Let's sleep okay?”

And they did. Well, Helen did. Evelyn fell asleep for a short while but woke up in the middle of the night. Helen was around her, a pale freckled arm snaked over Evelyn's midriff. Helen's freckles were really light, but in the pale moonlight, Evelyn could see a ghosting of them on Helen. She tried to relax, but this was a lot. The whole being spooned thing? It was a lot. Helen’s arm tightened her arm around Evelyn's small waist.

Did Evelyn feel content laying here, the warmth of a person she found kinda nice behind her? Yeah.

It was nice.

She missed this. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on tumblr parasite-life


	4. Whiny DPS Main gets MURDERED Whole Match. Struggles of flex player #67

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gay  
> fake  
> dating  
> yay  
> ~para 2k18

The convention center was large. Large and in charge. Evelyn internally groaned. She needed to stop making corny jokes inside her head. Winston was off to find Bob Parr and Simon Paladino (his favorite YouTubers). Meaning that it was just her and Helen.

“I wasn’t even gonna come until you asked me if I was.”

Evelyn gave her a look.

“Well, I mean, I do have a decent amount of subscribers but this isn't really my scene. What I do is very not like this.” She points to one of the booths. One of the many beauty gurus was selling makeup there. “I am a mother of three, Evelyn and-”

Helen paused, and her face suddenly had a blank look on her face. Evelyn poked her arm, and Helen grabbed onto her hand. Helen was squeezing, but she didn't even look like she was doing it voluntarily.

Her companion pointed over to a man. He was conventionally handsome. Tall, Black hair, blue eyes. (He also had a horrible beard but go off I guess.) “Um, Helen? You okay there?”

“Is he a youtuber?” Helen’s voice was awfully quiet. Evelyn peered closer. The man had a badge that only the event holders had.

“No, he’s one of people who runs VidCon. Helen, did he do something to you? Do I have to punch him?”

Helen smiled. But not a good one, a smile that shows something sarcastic and probably shitty will come out of her mouth next.

“He didn’t hurt me. But he sure did things,” Helen paused. “He’s Vi’s and Dash’s father. My two older kids?”

“Not the baby?”

Helen laughed. “Hell no, Jack-Jack’s dad is a person who jacked into a cup. Why do you think there is a ten year age difference between him and my other son? Xerek doesn’t even know he has kids.”

Xerek. That sounds like a douchey name. And it also sounds super fake. 

“We don’t have to go near him. We can go find my brother. Let’s hope he’s not drooling over Bob Parr yet.” Evelyn tried to cover the awkward silence that was now pooling between them.

Helen wouldn't budge though. She kept staring at this Xerek dude, and honestly? Evelyn was kinda over it by now. Jealousy and what not. But,  the guy noticed them. And he was walking towards them. Helen glanced over to her.

“No mention of my kids. Kay?”

The man quickened his strides.

“Hel! Hel, Helen! How are you? It's been, what, ten years?” His voice is deep and sultry.

Evelyn hates him.

“Ten years. Yes. How are you, Xerek?” Helen said in an almost monotone voice.

He put a hand on his chest in some sort of mock offense. Cause, of course, he would be entitled.

“Nicknames are a no-go?” He glanced over to Evelyn. His smile made her insides churn. “Your name?”

Evelyn stuck her hand out. “Evelyn. Evelyn Deavor.”

His face was obviously surprised. “Oh wow. Really? It is so nice to meet you.” He turned back to Helen. Asshole. He probably only knows who she is because of her last name and her brother. 

“Helen, any chance we could meet up? Catch up? ”

Helen was on edge. Evelyn could tell.

“Uh, I can't.” He gave her a look. “Um, Me and Ev have a date tonight. We are a couple. Girlfriends. Like gay?”

That sentence kept bouncing around in Evelyn's mind as Xerek got the hint and walked away. She slowly turned to face Helen. Her companion her a sheepish smile.

“Girlfriends.” Evelyn deadpans.

Did Helen know she was gay? Evelyn knew she made it kinda obvious, but still. This can't get out. No media outlet, no drama channel, no one.

Would Evelyn date Helen? Yes. Why the fuck wouldn't she? But, this is a lie. A big fat lie.

She's screwed.

“I panicked. I am so sorry. It's no big deal though? I mean, Xerek is a private man. I don't think…”

“It's fine. But, girlfriends? I didn't know you were, uh,” Evelyn was at a loss of words.

“If you have to know, I am bisexual,” Helen said with a cheeky smile.

Evelyn knew she was blushing. She just hoped it wasn't too noticeable.

~~`~~

It felt like they were all watching them. (Everyone in the convention center that is.) That everyone knew that for some reason, they were “dating” (Okay, fake dating). Helen was being quiet. Evelyn herself was being quiet. She should've known this whole thing was a mistake. Meeting someone off of the web? Trying to be friends? This sounds like some sort of episode in a 90s sitcom. Just gayer and dumber. 

Her phone vibrated in the back pocket of her skinny jeans. She opened Twitter. Her notifications seemed to be filled. Like brimming.

@mirage_co  
Congrats Evelyn. Who would've thought you making a hate video would get you laid? I’ll try it next time.

Her mentions were insane. Evelyn swore at least twenty tweets were calling Helen thick. And about thirty more were congratulating her on landing a milf.

“Helen, do you by any chance have a twitter?”

“No, I only use Facebook.”

Evelyn had flashbacks of the Facebook minion mom memes. Dark times. But, at least Helen would never see this stuff.

“What exactly does thick mean anyway?” Helen said as she peered over Evelyn's shoulder. Evelyn jumped, causing her phone to fly in the air.

Evelyn barely caught it, and as soon as it was in her hands, she whipped her head to stare at Helen.

They were near the bathroom, and Evelyn went to go sit near the small bench. Helen lays her hand on Evelyn's thigh and squeezes.

“If it makes you feel any better, your fans were already calling me thick before this. My kids can’t check my comments anymore.”

Evelyn cringed. “Sorry.”

Helen squeezed Evelyn’s thigh some more. “I am the one who made this worse, so don’t blame yourself.“ She pauses. “But seriously though, what does thick mean? It is good?”

Evelyn looks up, and she shakes her head. Helen’s eyes were sparkling with mirth.

“It means your, uh, _behind_ is big. And yeah, it’s a good thing.”

“Sooooooooo, what are we gonna do?” Evelyn asks while people walk by. She needed to change the topic from the word Thick.

“I have to call my kids. I mean, what can we do? How did people even find out?”

Evelyn looked down at her hands. Xerek had to have told someone. Just who? How the hell did Mirage find out?

“Yeah, tell your kids. The truth though, right? I know I would’ve hated if my mom lied.”

“Yeah. I would too…” Helen trailed off. She pulls out her phone, which is a fucking blackberry, my god. “I am gonna head somewhere more quiet. And private.”

Evelyn nodded. As Helen walked away, she twiddled her thumbs. But, that didn’t last long. Winston was walking up the steps towards her, and Mirage just exited the elevator near the bathrooms.

This felt like a shitty dream. Mirage was wearing some sort of jumpsuit. Most likely Gucci. She had this smug look on her face. Asshole. Winston looked pissed, but like also disappointed? Which kinda made sense.

“Evelyn Deavor. Where did your new girlfriend go? I wanted to meet her.” Mirage was smirking like Evelyn just lost to something. Mirage was fucking weird.

“Nice to see you crawled out of hell to brag,” Evelyn said.

Mirage pouted and sat down next to her. She reached over and put her hand where Helen’s was not too long ago. 

“I don’t want to brag. Evelyn, I want to talk. Be friends. Like how we used to be?”

Mirage ran her hands along Evelyn's thigh.

"Please?"


End file.
